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Sunday, 12 June 2011
Fabulous Mr Ford - thestoryteller
thestoryteller
Fabulous Mr Ford and the school for storytelling
Is Richard's brand new book
The novel started life a story, then came together as a literary enterprise project at Canon Lee specialist performing arts college in York, the project named ‘A Write Good Read’ . We wanted to create a really good book, easy to read but full of meaning we think we’ve done that.
*A heart warming story full of fun and meaning and overwhelming positive about good teachers and the benefits of education.
*Successfully tackles discrimination in a very mature and positive way and gives an insight into modern Traveller lifeHi Richard,
I love the story and it's a good page turner, I had to read it all in one go! I'm not surprised at the great reviews. Alison Jones York Libraries
This project is an excellent example of how young people from a wide range of backgrounds can all benefit from working together inspired by the ‘power’ of a good book. Richard O’Neill’s story has proved to be an excellent vehicle for young people to appreciate the issues of the characters and the ‘business’ of publishing them through a range of innovative projects whilst sharing their learning with others.
Kevin Deadman
Head Teacher
Canon Lee Specialist Arts College York
Fabulous Mr Ford and the School for Storytelling is the excellent new novel from Richard O’Neill. Set in Fenland in the East of England, the book tells the story of Traveller boy Levi Stewart and his problems with schools, especially his latest ‘Tench Diem’, run by the detention obsessed Mr Davies, Levi lasts until lunchtime. When Mr Ford the local Traveller education teacher gets involved Levi is offered a place at a school he finally likes. This is the start of Levi’s adventure, using his talent of storytelling, making friends setting up a lunchtime storytelling club and entering a literary competition. However if his team of misfits are to have any chance of winning let alone avoiding an embarrassing defeat there are many challenges to face and obstacles to overcome. Levi draws strength from his family, new friends and neighbours and especially Mr Ford, but will it be enough?
An excerpt from the book
Mrs Moore smiled and said; ‘I want students at this school to enjoy themselves, to have fun because if you don’t enjoy what you are doing, you won’t be very good at it.’ I said; ‘My dad says that.’ ‘What does he think of school?’ She asked. I said; ‘He wants me to go to school and learn to do something different, something that I really like.’ ‘Levi is a brilliant storyteller’ said Mr Ford ‘Oh are you,’ said Mrs Moore. ‘I think story is important to everything we do. We have a number of lunchtime clubs if you are good at something or just have an interest in it,
we encourage you to share that with others.’
Costs are per single book £7.99 plus £1.25 p&p 10 copies £79.00 postage free,15 (enough for most classes with two children sharing) £100 postage free or 100 copies £750 postage free just e-mail or phone your order cheques payable to R O’Neill for larger orders we can invoice.
*All copies can be signed by Richard if required
Because we are printing the book in runs of 50 and 100 if you would like a special edition with the name of your organisation on it for a reading scheme or an event, then we will be more than happy to do this.
*Lesson plans and ideas for class activities are currently being developed and will be available to download free of charge to all purchasers of the book.
Click below to download the cover of the bookDownload File
fabulousmrfordcover2.pdf
7 Items You Won't Believe Are Actually Legal in America | Cracked.com - All more legal than cannabis
7 Items You Won't Believe Are Actually Legal
Drugs, artillery emplacements, napalm, prostitution - sometimes it seems like the best things in life are illegal. For some reason, the fascists who control this country don't believe in your God given right to smoke meth and man a 155-millimeter Howitzer.
Luckily for us, there are a lot of awesome things out there that Uncle Sam amazingly hasn't taken away from us yet. Read this article, and then go and pick up one of everything while you still can!
#7.Flamethrowers
Holy Shit, Really?
Yes. There are currently no federal laws governing or restricting the ownership of flame-throwing devices. Some states have laws restricting possession of flamethrowers, with violations only considered to be misdemeanors, but 40 states have absolutely no laws whatsoever concerning flamethrowers. Only in America would a device capable of launching rivers of fire at people be less regulated than marijuana.
Careful with that pot, it looks dangerous.Where Can I Get One?
You can sometimes find professionally made flamethrowers being sold by private buyers online, some for as little as $300. Also, if you're unsure on how to use your new device, but you want the source of your advice to be batshit insane, you could pick up Ragnar Benson's delightful read, Breath Of The Dragon: Homebuilt Flamethrowers, which we can only hope comes with a cellphone with the numbers 9 and 1 already dialed.
What Should I Do With it?
Actually using your flamethrower is somewhat more difficult than acquiring it. It seems that lawmen these days have rules about when and where you're allowed to shoot gallons of flaming fuel. We recommend making friends with someone who owns a few acres of land out in the country and then going hog wild. If you accidentally start a wildfire, don't fret: Flamethrowers are just as good at stopping fires as they are at starting them. Just burn everything around the fire to cinders, and it won't have anywhere to spread!
Holy Balls, Why is it Legal?
Cracked cannot overstate the importance of destroying the horrifying bee menace. As a potent combination of "deadly" and "too small to shoot," the Africanized Honey Bee is quite possibly mankind's most dangerous enemy. Enter the flamethrower: your first, last, and only line of defense against the black and yellow hordes. In 1968, Brazilian firefighters armed with flamethrowers defended a group of children from the onslaught of buzzing death. This is apparently not an uncommon happening in nations fighting off the advancing bee legions.
#6.Salvia Divinorum
Holy Shit, Really?
Salvia divinorum is a member of the Lamiaceae family, which makes it a cousin of the mint plant. When properly prepared, salvia can be smoked in order to bring on incredibly intense, at times paralyzing, hallucinations. Most salvia trips are short in duration, but very powerful and jarring. All side effects of salvia are gone within an hour, and it doesn't show up on standard drug tests.
Depending on the amount of smoke inhaled, users of salvia may experience hallucinations on par in intensity with those caused by drugs like LSD or DMT. Since most users lose consciousness and drift off into a world of fractal shapes and green women as soon as they hit the pipe, it has not gained much popularity as a 'party' drug.
It kind of makes the world look like this for about six minutes.Where Can I Get One?
Salvia is still legal in most US states. You can pick it up at most well-stocked 'head' shops, but the cheapest and highest quality salvia is usually found online. Make sure to check your local laws to see if you can legally purchase and possess it in your state. If not, at least you still have your flamethrower.
What Should I do With it?
Here at Cracked, the only "high" we're interested in is the natural high we get from bringing comedy to the world (and sometimes crystal meth), so we have no advice here. However there are a number of educational videos that recommend gardening, writing letters to congressmen, and driving while on salvia.
Also, we do not recommend teaching while on salvia.Holy Balls, Why is it Legal?
Salvia is actually pretty harmless, as intoxicants go. There have been a few accusations of its involvement in causing a suicidal mindset, but evidence is spurious at best. In fact a number of scientists believe that salvia may act as an anti-depressant, and its effective use in ending cocaine addiction has been noticed as well. Dr. Bryan Roth believes the drug has the potential to help those suffering from schizophrenia and Alzheimer's and has urged the government not to ban salvia. With the potential to cure depression, Alzheimer's, schizophrenia and cocaine addictions, it's a wonder salvia isn't a mandatory side dish in high school cafeterias across America. We're going to go ahead and say that last one is a bad idea.
#5.Tannerite (An Explosive Compound)
Holy Shit, Really?
Tannerite is sold legally as a binary compound, meaning you mix two harmless powders and get something that goes boom. Just apply the mixture to the object you wish to blow up and then hit it with extreme force or heat.
Where Can I Get Some?
You can buy tannerite straight from the distributor. Premade shaped charges can be bought, or you can just get huge containers of the powders. We recommend only purchasing small amounts, as the temptation to blow it all up at once rises exponentially the more you have.
This man purchased 100 pounds of the stuff and was unable to resist the temptation. The blast was heard for miles, and sent scraps of shrapnel flying almost a quarter of a mile.
What Should I do With it?
Find an old car at a junkyard or ex-girlfriend's house. Drive it out to the same remote place where you use your flamethrower. Now, coat the car with tannerite, stand very far back and shoot it with a rifle. The results should look something like this:
Note to Women: this is pretty much what having sex with a Cracked writer is like, but for hours.Congratulations! You are now having the most fun a citizen of the United States is legally allowed to have. Now lock the guns and explosives up and smoke some salvia to celebrate.
Holy Balls, Why is This Legal?
Like flamethrowers, tannerite actually has quite a few legal uses, including avalanche control. Despite being both legally available and explosive, no deaths have ever been linked to the compound. Due to its binary nature, tannerite is perfectly safe to store and transport. Statistically, a suburban swimming pool is much more likely to end human lives.
#4.Improvised Weaponry
Holy Shit, Really?
Homemade firearms. They are also known as garage guns, Chechnyan Firecrackers and scrap weapons. Most garage guns are made out of easily acquired pieces of trash and industrial debris. They can be as simple as a lead tube with a rubber-band-powered firing pin, or a fully automatic pistol made out of aluminum cans and assorted sprockets.
Garage guns vary in quality from relatively good...
... to plastic deathtraps.Where Can I Get One?
You can make one. Improvised firearms are legal under federal law, as long as the weapon does not violate any existing gun laws. You can even make silencers and sawed-off homemade shotguns if you get the proper tax stamps. There are a variety of guides for building home-made guns available for free online. Chechnyan rebels are the most prolific creators (and users) of these guides.
What Should I Do With Them?
The same things you would do with any other gun: load it with tracer rounds and blow up cars covered in tannerite. Of course, since you'll be shooting a DIY contraption made of scrap metal and prayers, both accuracy and safety will be far below acceptable standards. We recommend getting a gullible friend (perhaps the same person whose land you're using) to fire the first few shots. If it explodes, you might need to go back to the drawing board.
We made this!Holy Balls, Why is this Legal?
First of all, because a gun with an unrifled barrel is only accurate to a few inches. Since most professionally manufactured firearms are legal in the USA, banning homemade ones doesn't make much sense. Neither China, the gun-control capital of the world, nor Russia have been able to stop their dissident populations from building their own firearms. Since you can literally build a gun out of the contents of a trash bin, any laws made to stop self-made firearms would be almost unenforceable.
via cracked.com
Voxbone Offers Internet's First Global 'Country Code' :: VoIP Biz-News.com
Voxbone Offers Internet's First Global 'Country Code'
Thursday 13th November 2008 - 14:45
Voxbone has announced iNum, a global telephone number that enables anyone to establish a local presence anywhere in the world.An abbreviation of international numbers, iNums use the new 'country code' +883 created by the ITU (International Telecommunication Union) to let VoIP users anywhere in the world receive calls using standard phone numbers.
Initially, the calls will mainly connect users of different VoIP services.
Eventually, callers will be able to dial iNums directly from traditional phone lines in any location.
Rodrigue Ullens, CEO and co-founder of Voxbone, said iNum was a new kind of phone number for a new kind of world that was about local presence and global relationships, not about distance or national borders.
"We believe the new geography is defined by the markets, customers and vendors that businesses need to connect with most," he said.
"We need 'local' communication with these people—whether calls originate on public-switched or VoIP networks, whether they are truly local or 'virtually' local."
Ullens said the ITU approved Voxbone’s testing of iNum in June 2007.It began testing +883 numbers in remote networks then began a preview with several service providers, Jajah, Mobivox, Gizmo5, Ribbit, iotum, Rebtel, Voipbuster, Voxeo and Voipuser.
Among wholesale voice carriers, Arbinet, Belgacom ICS, Level 3 Communications and Stealth's Voice Peering Fabric are already routing +883 calls today.
Since recognizing the new country code requires an update to the switch routing tables of all wholesalers, international carriers and retail providers, +883 calls must traverse participating carriers’ networks to connect.
A list of all such carriers and their rates for iNum connection appears on the www.inum.net site.
To create a number with “local” PSTN access around the world, Voxbone worked with the ITU to establish the 883 country code, in the same way that 44 is the country code that refers internationally to the United Kingdom and 1 to the United States.
Voxbone provides iNum numbers for free to carriers and service providers, Ullens said.
As the number wholesaler, Voxbone will receive calls to these numbers and deliver them to the appropriate service provider. In this way, it connects incoming calls from PSTN callers as well as calls between different VoIP islands.
Some iNum participating carriers will resell iNum numbers to their customers so they can receive calls; other participants will merely route (terminate) calls to the new numbers.
Most participating carriers will even deliver calls to iNum numbers free of charge to their users, effectively providing free connectivity between their network and remote networks.
“Customers and prospects who see an advertised iNum telephone number that costs little or nothing to dial will be just as inclined to call an international business as they would any business physically located nearby or in-country,” said Ullens.
“We see iNum encouraging more people to call globally, enabling business subscribers to have wider interactions with callers from new markets,” he added. “For carriers, iNum will increase call minutes and generate additional revenue through innovative global services.”
Ullens described iNum as a natural extension of Voxbone’s role as an online DID (direct-inward-dial) warehouse.
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Eclectically Eccentric » Blog Archive » Perspective of a Professional Driver
**WARNING: ONE PISSED OFF TRUCK DRIVER**
Ok, I have to rant a bit about 80% of the non-driving f***ing idiots behind the wheel in America today. I have been a professional driver for 10 years now and have seen all parts of the continental U.S. The main thing I have noticed (besides never-ending construction) is that no matter what city or interstate I have driven on, most people behind the wheel have no clue. I have always known this about the average driver but thought it was just the morons in the state I live in. People like to bitch about traffic not realizing they are part of the problem. It is not that there are too many cars and trucks on the road; it is the driving habits of people who do not know how to correctly drive causing chain reactions. Let me define and give an example.
Chain Reaction: a series of events in which each event is the result of the one preceding and the cause of the one following.
Practical example on the average road. Driver 1 is going a little below the speed limit. (36 in a 40mph zone) Driver 2 is going the speed limit and comes upon Driver 1. Driver 2 then has to apply his breaks to slow down to Driver1’s speed. Not being perfect, Driver 2 slows to a speed slightly slower than Driver1 (say 34-35mph) and then speeds up to match Driver1. This is how the reaction starts. Now we add the next driver. Driver 3. 3 is also doing the speed limit but now he approaches 2 and has to slow down. Usually with the same result, meaning he will slow to a speed less than that of 2 and speed back up to match. This puts driver 3 at about 31-33 mph for a moment. Add driver 4, 5, 6,
The result is that drivers 20 and on are having to actually come to a complete stop. Welcome to rush hour. There are many other factors that contribute to the chain reaction effect. Add to the mix 1 Semi pulling a 53’ trailer weighing in at 80,00lbs.(there’s a lot more than one but for the sake of simplicity) Said semi is driving down the road and has to maintain a 6 second (8 is a lot safer) gap between him and the vehicle in front. (80k lbs don’t slow quickly). If a car in front of him slows by 5 miles an hour for just a second or 2 the gap closes quickly. Then said car speeds back up and goes on its merry way. Not so for the truck driver. The sheer weight of the truck makes it both difficult and slow to decelerate; it also makes it slow to speed back up. While the car can resume the speed in a second or 2, it may take the semi several minutes depending on how level the road is. During the time he spends getting back up to speed, cars and other trucks behind him are doing the chain reaction shuffle cubed. Always wondered about the massive rush hour backups with no accident, construction, or broken down vehicle? You just learned the reason.
More ranting! SEMI SAFETY. It is obvious to anyone who has ever driven one of these 40 ton behemoths that 90% of car drivers haven’t the slightest idea how often they put their lives and the lives of others around them in real mortal danger. Thinks to know about big trucks:
- 1. They can’t see you!
- 2. They can’t hear your little horn!
- 3. They cannot stop or take off quickly. MORE: SOME TRUCKS MAY TAKE A FOOTBALL FIELD LENGTH OR MORE TO STOP!
- 4. Trucks do not have self canceling turn indicators. This means that after they turn the blinkers do not shut off. Due to the fact truckers often have to use blinkers/flashers for long periods of time, there is no loud noise letting them know it’s on. If you see a truck with his turn signal on for (what to you) seems a long time) going down the road, DO NOT assume that he is not turning. You get in his way and you run into rule 1 and 2 and 3
- 5. In busy traffic you are trying to switch lanes to get the “faster” lane and you see a semi with a gap in front of him. DO NOT fill that gap. The gap is there so he don’t kill people in front of him. If you jump in the gap, until he can slow down you put your life on the line.
- 6. Never follow close behind a semi. Several reasons: A Rules 1 and 2 B Semi tires are very heavy and they do have blowouts. People are killed by heavy chunks of flying tire all the time.
- 7. Never drive the same speed as a semi in the lane next to him. ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE ON HIS RIGHT SIDE. On the right, he cannot see you, and on both sides all the other rules apply. Either drive faster and get past or slow a bit and fall behind.
- 8. You may be late for work; the semi driver may be late to get home to see the family he has not seen in a couple months.
All semi companies try to get there drivers to care for the welfare of the other cars on the road. Telling them to wreck the truck rather than hit the car. Sorry folks, if you fuck up in front of me and I have the choice of rolling my truck over or hitting you and possibly killing you, I will chose to smear you all over the road. If I chose to wreck my truck I could lose my career and I work for my family not yours. Keep that in mind next time you’re around a semi.
Still more ranting: The LEFT LANE people. Call out if you know what the proper use of the left lane on a highway is. Wrong, wrong, wrong! The proper use of the left lane is to pass. It is called “Hammer lane” “Fast lane” and other catchy phrases. The main thing to know it is to be used to pass another vehicle going slower than you are. This lane has only has a couple rules. First if you are in the left lane and someone comes up behind you, switch back to the right lane. Do not make that car slow down to your speed. It does not matter if you are already going 20 miles over the limit, get the hell over and let the other car go by. Second, in many states it is illegal to drive in the left lane. It is only permissible to use it to pass. That is why it is the passing lane. You don’t need to be in it if you are not going faster than the other cars.
HEADLIGHTS!!!!! If it is raining turn them on! It does not matter if it is daytime and you can see just fine. Behind your car is spray from water on the road. This spray effectively hides your car from behind. Turn your damn lights on so there is at least a red glow behind you and you can be seen.
Getting on and off the highways. How many times do you see some idiot stop at the end of an onramp to the highway? Onramps to highways have PLENTY of room to get even a YUGO up to highway speed so you can either slow down or speed up to MERGE into traffic. Do not get to the end of the ramp doing 25mph and expect to be able to get into traffic. If you do then you are a dumbshit and need your license suspended. Do go down the ramp and get on the highway in front of someone going below the speed limit. The other driver should not have to slow down because you’re too dumb to get to know where the accelerator is in your car. I don’t know how often some moron gets on the highway in front of me doing 45-50 in a 65. I have to hit my breaks and slow down then they speed up to 90 and jump in the left lane……GRRRRRR this is why it should be legal to shoot morons. “Yes officer, he was only going 40, so I had time to aim”
If you are in a car and a semi is trying to get on the highway ALWAYS let him in. Speed up, slow down, get over, or whatever, just let him in. His vehicle does not do 0-60 in seconds. It does it in minutes! If you are on an on ramp and a semi is in the lane you are trying to merge in, DO NOT MAKE HIM SLOW DOWN FOR YOU. He may be having a bad day and not feel like doing the extra shifting for your dumb ass. I have run people into the Jersey walls before because they refused to adjust their speed while trying to get on the highway. IT IS A MERGE, the traffic does not adjust to you, and YOU ADJUST TO IT! When taking an on ramp, it is not necessary to slow down to 30 before starting to take the exit. Most exits have plenty of room to decelerate, don’t do it on the highway or someone my hit your ass because there busy texting. When that happens, you start one hell of a chain reaction
Simple rules of driving people. Maintain speed, let faster people go by and stay away from big trucks. Now stop reading this on your iPhone and drive asshole!
Ralimore
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