The Imprisoned Hikers' Moms - NYTimes.com

July 5, 2011, 3:38 pm

The Imprisoned Hikers’ Moms

By LISA BELKIN

From left: Josh Fattal, Sarah Shourd and Shane Bauer,  the three American hikers imprisoned in Iran.

This month marks two years of worry for the parents of Josh Fattal and Shane Bauer, who, along with Shane’s fiancée, Sarah Shourd, were imprisoned by the Iranian government in July 2009, accused of crossing the border illegally. Writing about them won’t end their families’ worry. But it’s all I can do to show another parent that I can’t pretend to imagine their pain. (For more on their story, read Nick Kristof’s blog posts over the years, here, and here.

In a guest post today, Karin Kasdin writes about every parent’s deepest dread: becoming the family everyone wants to help.

TWO YEARS
By Karin Kasdin

For 27 of Josh Fattal’s birthdays, his mother, Laura, ate cake. On his 28th she was too worried and upset to eat. Last month, on his 29th birthday, she went on a hunger strike. Josh and his friend, Shane Bauer, have each spent two birthdays locked in Iran’s notorious Evin Prison, held on bogus charges of espionage. Shane’s fiancée, Sarah Shourd, was released on $500,000 bail several months ago.

Even in their adulthood, especially in their adulthood, our children’s birthdays give us legitimate reasons to weep sentimental tears as we relive the moments when they were first placed in our outstretched arms and we lament the breakneck speed at which time passes. For two years, Laura, Cindy Hickey and Nora Shourd have not had the luxury of sentimental tears. Theirs are tears of terror.

I ran into Laura recently at the wedding of a mutual friend. Never “off duty” in her mission to secure her son’s liberation, she distributed “Free the Hiker” postcards to all the guests. I’ve written about the three moms before, and when I told her I wanted to write an update about how she is coping, she replied, “Who says I’m coping?” A week after we spoke, she joined Josh and Shane in their hunger strike, a defiant act they initiated when they were denied access to letters from their families.

What mother among us thinks of a hunger strike when gazing into her newborn baby’s eyes and whispering, “I would do anything for you”?

Swiss Embassy in Tehran The mothers visited their children in Tehran in May.

Josh, Shane, and Sarah were hiking in Iraqi Kurdistan when they accidentally crossed an unmarked border into Iran. When Laura was interviewed on the radio recently, the interviewer asked her how she could, in good conscience, let her son go there.

“Let” him? He was 27 years old at the time. You don’t have to be a parent to understand that 27-year-olds don’t need or seek parental permission to do what they want to do or go where they want to go. You simply have had to reach the age of 27. I wonder if that interviewer asks his mother’s permission to vacation in the destination of his choice. And for the record, Northern Kurdistan is an autonomous area that the  Lonely Planet Guide and The New York Times have favored as a safe and beautiful tourist destination for outdoor lovers.

On June 10, Sarah, who has admitted to suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder, finally opened up about the abuse the hikers have suffered in prison. She reported that a guard at the prison pushed Josh down the stairs and another guard repeatedly threw Shane against a wall until his head bled. She also said the three of them feared they would be executed soon after their arrest when their captor began cocking his gun.

I am a master worrier and very creative with the nightmares I invent regarding my children. But abuse in prison in an unfriendly land is something that even an experienced worry wart like me hasn’t imagined. When I don’t hear from my sons for a week or two, I worry that something is terribly wrong. Laura and Cindy have spoken with their sons three times in two years. As a mother, my heart breaks for all three of these women who would contest being called courageous, but who seem remarkably courageous to me.

The families have been notified that a trial will begin on July 31. They have been down this road before. A trial was set for May 11 but never took place. As mothers and as fathers, I ask you to join with me in praying, wishing, visualizing or whatever it is that you do to try to effect change. Think of these two young men with compassion and hope. And send light to their mothers and fathers. You can read more about this and find out how you can help at www.freethehikers.org.

via parenting.blogs.nytimes.com